


More than a Drink

by ThreeGremlinsInATrenchcoat



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: A bit of alcohol hence the T Rating, Comfort, Conversations, Developing Friendships, Gen, Pre-Campaign, introspective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:09:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24844345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThreeGremlinsInATrenchcoat/pseuds/ThreeGremlinsInATrenchcoat
Summary: One night, only a little while after meeting his odd companion, Caleb wakes up from a nightmare.There's not much to say. But silence can speak for itself.
Relationships: Nott & Caleb Widogast
Comments: 8
Kudos: 51





	More than a Drink

Caleb woke up with a loud gasp ripping through his lungs.

He immediately shot up in panic. He panted, the images of fire and faces he’d much rather have forgotten still swimming in front of his eyes, blinding him to his surroundings. Fortunately, they began to fade, the grip of sleep loosening on his mind as he started to come to his senses. He felt dampness on his face – tears – and awkwardly plastering his clothes to him – sweat. Where was he even? His dorm- the Sana- No. His most recent memories returned as the dream subsided. The well-treaded road, the tall grass, a campfire breathing out its last breath as his tired eyes finally fell shut.

Nott keeping watch.

 _Fuck._ Caleb looked over. Sure enough, just behind the charred remains of the campfire sat the little goblin, illuminated by the silver glow of the moon and stars above. Yellow, shining eyes with thin irises were directly on him. He could see hesitation in her body.

Caleb made a point not to stare back, avoiding her eyes at all costs. But even without eye contact, he could feel the questions she was burning onto him with her gaze. The _whats_ and _whys_ of it all. He briefly entertained that she might ask him whether he was okay but found the idea ridiculous what with the short period of time they’d known each other. All the better because he didn’t think she’d buy a ‘yes’.

He felt the gaze leave without Nott vocalizing any of the questions that may have been tickling her tongue. Caleb hoped that she meant to never ask them, at all. They had, so far, refrained from asking each other personal questions, sticking mostly to the superficial. Caleb had come to appreciate this sense of privacy and mutual respect for held secrets. But he was certain that, if he exhibited strange behavior frequently enough, one of those dreaded questions might make it past her lips, anyway.

From his peripheral he noticed her shift and for a second he worried that she might be coming over. But she didn’t. Instead she produced something from her belongings. Caleb saw the telltale glint of metal in the moonlight. Her flask. She opened it with a soft _plop_ that made Caleb flinch and he resented himself for it.

“Here.” She finally broke the silence that had felt eternal. Caleb turned to her as she held out her flask, leaning across the dead campfire between them. “Helps me sleep sometimes.” She offered.

Immediately, the scent of something strong and very much alcoholic hit Caleb’s nose and he felt as though it may have been burning away his sense of smell altogether. He stared at the flask. They had been traveling together for a bit now… he felt like he was supposed to be beyond the point of questioning an offered beverage. But, much to his own dismay, he wasn’t.

“Really?” Nott asked incredulously, apparently picking up on his suspicion. She rolled her eyes and retracted the flask. She took a swig from it, pointedly looking at Caleb during, before holding it back out. “There would be so many better ways to get rid of you, if I really wanted to. Better opportunities, too.” She volunteered and, oddly, this strange confession that may have been a threat, seemed logical enough for Caleb to reach out.

He took the flask. He couldn’t help but sniff the beverage inside, as though it would smell better up close – it decidedly didn’t – and found his breath catch in his throat. He then, still hesitantly, took a drink, going over possible human-but-not-goblin killing poisons in his head. The liquid hit his tongue and he felt his entire body recoil. His taste buds were screaming at him for his poor life choices as he scrunched his nose and shut his eyes tightly. He pulled back from the flask, liquid still in his mouth, before finding the will to swallow. Then he coughed, feeling the burn in his throat. “Gods!” He croaked out before coughing a second time. He was no stranger to alcohol, but whatever unholy concoction Nott carried around with her was _lethal_. “That is _awful_.”

“Yeah, well.” Nott didn’t meet his eyes again. “Gets the job done.”

Caleb couldn’t really argue with that. He held the flask out and she took it back and took another drink herself, entirely unfazed by what may have been pure alcohol entering her system. Caleb suddenly found her resilience strangely impressive.

A blanket of silence fell over them as neither of them had much more to say. The only sound was that of the wind sweeping over the land, rustling through leaves in the process. Caleb was grateful that Nott apparently either really had no interest in his state of mind or was continuing to abide by their unspoken rule of not prying. He considered going back to sleep. Though he could still feel the nightmare in his bones, the sharp fear and pain of it was beginning to fade into a subdued, subtle thrumming at the back of his head. A sensation he carried with him daily. And though he was grateful for it leaving the forefront of his mind, it was still too fresh for him to try to find more rest. So he sat there, in silence, with his unlikely companion.

“Just one of those nights, eh?” She eventually broke the quiet and he appreciated her attempt at levity, even though it felt a little off. She was looking at the sky then.

“Ja.” He gave a short nod, following her gaze and staring at the stars, as well. “Just one of those nights.” He echoed.

And that was the extent of their conversation, yet again. Caleb was never one to push for the talking to continue- or, he _had been_ that type of person but he wasn’t any longer. Conversation was tough for those who wished to share nothing. Conversing meant inviting questions and dangerous threads of discussion that he did not find himself comfortable risking. He liked that Nott, for all her oddities and quirks, seemed to respect his silence and distance. He glanced at her briefly. It was pure chance that he’d found a travelling companion that tolerated him. He knew she deserved one that didn’t wake up with a gasp or a scream every other night. Or, at least, one that had a better relationship with reality than he had.

But he wasn’t about to ask her to leave when it was easier to survive like this than on his own. And when, some days, he’d find it extremely comforting to have her at his side, even if it meant having to run from the guards the next moment because her hands had found a trinket that definitely wasn’t hers.

It was an odd thing. How she grew on him.

“I, er, never thanked you for today.” She raised her voice again after a little while had passed.

“Hmm?”

“You know what I mean.” She pointed out. “When you stepped in with those asshole merchants today. Made up that lie on the spot to cover for me.”

“Ja, well…” Caleb looked at the corpse of the campfire. “I was just keeping us out of trouble.” He shrugged.

“You could have just left me.” Nott reminded. There was something in her voice as she said it, aside from gratitude. Pain. The source and nature of which Caleb didn’t – and thought he could not – understand. “But you didn’t. So. Just. Take the stupid thanks, will you?”

He looked at her briefly before averting his eyes again. He wanted to argue it. Say how she would have done the same – which he did not know for sure – or how they were in this together or how he really was the last person she should ever thank for anything when his good deeds were barely even justification for him continuing to draw breath. But she wasn’t looking for any of that. And she didn’t deserve for him to hit her with his thoughts and guilt like that, tearing apart her sincere thanks. “You’re welcome.”

“Good.” She said easily, as though praising his reply.

They both looked back up at the stars in quiet, yet again. It truly was a beautiful, clear night. Caleb could make out several constellations. Though their exchange had been quiet and reserved, it had felt good to trade words after the shock he’d woken up in. It was a comfort he hadn’t known for a long time. It was one that he’d miss it if were to end.

Searching for and counting constellations helped soothe the rest of the anxiety away. At least until it bothered him no more than it usually did. Staring up at the glittering night sky was stunning. Looking at it like this, unbothered, with company, felt like a luxury that neither of them should be able to afford. Yet, there they were and Caleb found that he relished it more than a comfortable bed in a cozy tavern.

“You should get more sleep.” Nott then pointed out and Caleb looked at her again. The moonlight was dancing on the surface of her flask as she idly swished the substance inside around with a lazy motion. She looked back at him. “I’ll wake you up to switch in a couple of hours.”

“Right.” Caleb agreed. He dreaded the thought of having another nightmare, but they wanted to make it to the next town as quickly as possible. And they couldn’t do that if he was completely and utterly sleep-deprived. So, for the good of their journey, he laid back down. The horrible aftertaste of the even worse beverage Nott had offered him was still on his tongue. He paused. Then he looked up at her again. “Nott.” He hesitated, gathering something related to courage. “Thank you.” He said impulsively but honestly.

She met his eyes and gave him a small smile. He thought he saw something akin to fondness sparkle in her eyes, but quickly pushed that idea away. She looked back at her flask. “Eh. Was just a bit of booze. Don’t mention it.”

Caleb turned around, lying on his side. He closed his eyes, aware that both of them knew that it had been more than a drink.

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short drabble that I've had laying around and decided to upload. Hope you like it!
> 
> Comments & Kudos are always appreciated!


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